Updated: Jul 19
I SAID, "I DO."
If I could give any advice I would say, " Be patient and be sure." Love is one of the most unconditional feelings that's needed in a marriage. Love should add to everything surrounding your life. Love shouldn't work as a competitor to the self-love that's engrained inside of you.
I can't speak for every marriage goal, but I prefer the love that makes me love myself more. I want to love unexpected and beyond sex. To love comes with high respect on both ends...Love is perfectly imperfect.
Most importantly, make decisions outside of insecurities, don't accept the first solution to your secret problems, and be sure that you've dealt with your individual problem. How can happiness be easy if you're going into a situation unhappy? If your heart has doubt, deal with that doubt beforehand. Never feel that marriage is going to change a current problem.
For the most part, divorcing is one of the hardest decisions to make (in my opinion). Especially, when both parties are still willing to try. Yet and still, you can't force yourself to be in love. A quick decision surrounding lust or some of type comfort of love (someone meant to play a seasonal role) have no foundation to fall back on. When it comes to marriage advice, there's no right answer. It can be unpredictable. Moreover, love without apologizing, love without needing approval from outsiders, love with your problems remaining in-house, love with respect, love without the blame game, love without looking to highlight a problem, and love without forcing a change (pray for that change and allow God to step in).
In closing, divorcing isn't the best choice. It's not the right way to go..., but I'll never advise someone to continue to be married when you've made a decision that wasn't meant to be. Give everything a fair amount time to reveal itself and proceed when things are outside of your control. Even with your mistakes, you deserve to be happy.
If both parties are willing to change and overcoming is possible, pray and be open minded to that option. Saving a marriage that can be saved is POWERFUL, but not at cost of LOSING YOURSELF.
"Losing yourself will always be the greatest loss!"
Written by Latosha Faulkner